I see through the mask you wear
by selana1505
Summary: Jack is a leader - but not by choice. Sometimes it all gets too much, but Ianto is there to help. Written for the prompt: Torchwood, Ianto/Jack... Jack hates being a captain, he'd rather be a soldier being told what to do - or what not to do control - it's Wales, so summer this year has been cancelled


It might have been July, but summer in Wales this year meant rain, rain and more rain. Once again they had to hurry out in the evening to subdue Weevils, five of them had attacked people in a parking lot.

Since everyone was still at the Hub, they had all rushed out and somehow managed to sedate and catch the Weevil before anyone got harmed. At least none of the civilians got wounded, Jack's team had suffered some minor injuries like scrapes and bruises.

Jack had stayed behind to retcon the people they rescued and then made his way back on foot through the constant cold rain. Even his coat wasn't enough to keep the water out, by the time he made it back to the Hub he was drenched to the skin and freezing. But he didn't let it show, he squared his shoulders and marched in, putting on his usual mask. His team needed him to be strong, in control, so that's what he was for them.

A quick tour around showed him that Owen had already patched up Gwen's arm, where a Weevil had hit her with its claws; it hadn't been a bad wound, just a scratch - they'd all had worse. Tosh was at her workstation, Ianto just came up from the basement where he had locked up the last of their new 'guests'. Gwen and Owen were chatting in the med bay, nobody seemed to need him right now. But still, he couldn't show them how tired and cold he was, so he smiled at them, made a joke about looking like a drowned rat, and then wearily made his way up to his office, leaving a trail of water that dripped from his coat and his hair.

To everyone who might watch him he looked the same as always: powerful, strong, in charge - their leader. But inside he was crumbling, wanted nothing more than to give up control to someone else, even if just for a while. He'd had no choice but to lead Torchwood Cardiff after Alex had killed himself, but he'd always been more comfortable being the foot soldier. He might not always follow commands, but it was so much easier not to be responsible for other people, to let someone else make the hard decision, to not be the one to live with the guilt.

He was still standing just inside his office, dripping on the floor, lost in his thoughts, when he heard the door open again. He looked up, surprised that he hadn't heard approaching steps, but forced his usual smile on his lips when he saw Ianto with a steaming cup of coffee in the door.

Ianto's answering smile faltered when he saw Jack still in his wet coat, soaked to his skin, shivering.

"Jack," Ianto's voice was surprisingly hard, "get out of that coat now, you need to get dry." He put the coffee down on Jack's desk and held up a hand to stop Jack from talking. "Don't argue with me, you might not stay dead, but you're not helping anyone if you get sick."

Ianto's gaze held Jack's, and without even thinking about it Jack followed the order and shrugged out of his coat. As usual, Ianto was there to take it off him. Jack expected him to leave, to do whatever magic Ianto always used on the coat to have it dry and clean again in the morning. Ianto surprised him again - he pushed the office door closed and turned back to Jack.

"You're still dripping, get down to your quarters and out of the wet clothes." Again, Ianto's voice was hard, commanding. "I'll tell the others that you're sending them home, there's nothing important to do anyway and it's late already. Then I'll be back with a fresh cup of coffee for you."

Jack stared at Ianto for a moment, part of him wanted to just follow the orders he had been given, but could he really allow Ianto to take control of him so easily? They were lovers, yes, but Jack still was the one in charge of Torchwood, Ianto the one who was doing as he was told.

"Ianto..." his voice sounded tired, even to himself.

"Stop arguing, Jack!" Ianto glared at him.

Jack raised his hands in mock defeat. "Alright, I'm going to change."

Ianto didn't deign to answer, he just rolled his eyes and left with the still dripping wet coat.

As soon as he was alone again, Jack's shoulders slumped. Ianto was right, he should get out of those wet clothes and warm up again. He might not be able to die permanently, but he still could get hypothermia and die of it. And dying was by far too unpleasant to risk it if not necessary. With a sigh Jack made his way down to his bunk and slowly stripped. He just dropped everything into a corner, way too exhausted to take care of his clothes now.

When he heard Ianto walk through the office, Jack straightened his shoulders again, tried to get back in control. His constant shivering probably didn't help, though. Ianto had reached the foot of the ladder and turned around, took one look at Jack - paler than usual, shivering, blue lips - and wrapped him in a blanket he snatched up from the bed.

"Sit down, drink your coffee, then you should take a shower to warm up." Ianto didn't even check if Jack was doing as he was told, he focussed his attention on the soaked pile of clothes. "I'd better wash and dry those, I'll be back in a minute." With a quick glare at Jack who was still standing in the middle of his room, blanket barely covering him, he went up the ladder. "And sit down now, Jack, I really don't like to repeat myself."

The commanding tone was getting through to Jack, he dropped onto the bed and wrapped himself into the scratchy blanket as much as possible. The coffee mug seemed to burn his hands, only then did Jack realize how cold he really was. Slowly he sipped the coffee, careful not to spill it with his trembling hands.

He hadn't even finished half the cup when Ianto was back. He took one look at Jack, shook his head. "You really have to take better care of yourself." Ianto's voice was soft again, so was his gaze. "But for tonight, I'll take care of you." When Ianto took the cup out of Jack's still slightly trembling hands, Jack didn't resist. He was too cold and tired, he didn't really care. His thoughts began to wander again, to a time when he was only responsible for himself, didn't have to keep other people safe.

"Jack!" Ianto sounded as if he had said his name before, Jack startled.

"What? No need to yell at me."

"You didn't react when I told you to go and take a shower to warm up some more - and I've asked you twice already." Ianto sounded worried, but then his voice was commanding again. "Under the shower NOW, or I'll drag you in there."

Jack responded to the order without thinking, he disentangled himself from the blanket and walked to his tiny bathroom. Once he was under the shower and the warm water thawed him out again he began to relax. He hadn't even noticed how tense he was before, how much the responsibility of being in control of everything and everyone had weighed him down. All too soon the water ran cold. He really had to hook his personal shower up to their hot water system. It was powered by super secret future technology and guaranteed an endless supply of hot water - all the showers were hooked up to it apart from his own. It had been built before they came across the technology that enabled them to update the heating system.

Jack shook his head to get out of his wandering thoughts and back to the present, then shut off the still running water. When he stepped out of the shower Ianto was waiting for him, and wrapped him into a huge, soft towel and gently dried him. He must have gone upstairs again to get it, since none of Jack's towels were that big or that soft - they just had to get him dry, not be comfortable. But for now Jack enjoyed Ianto's attention and let himself be cared for.

Once he was dry with just his hair slightly damp, Ianto led him out of the bathroom again and to his bed. He took the towel away and nudged Jack gently. "Get under the covers, I'll join you soon." He spoke in a low voice, still his words sounded like commands to Jack - commands he was more than willing to follow for now.

"Okay," he murmured, "but I can't sleep, you know that."

"You still need to keep yourself warm, so stop arguing with me." Ianto gave him another gentle push towards the bed and Jack crawled in, pulling the covers up to his chin. It felt good not to think about what to do, just to follow orders for a change.

Jack sighed softly when Ianto crawled into bed with him, now naked as well. On any other day they would have sex now, but Jack was content to just feel Ianto's warm body next to him, to soak up the heat that their bodies began to generate under the blankets.

"Close your eyes, Jack, you need to rest." Ianto whispered in his ear. "You might be able to hide it from everyone else, but I can see how exhausted you really are. Relax, I'll be here, I'll take care of you tonight."

He hadn't thought it was possible to relax even further, but Ianto's voice calmed him down and Jack let himself sink deeper into the mattress. His eyelids felt heavy, so he closed them. Just before he drifted off to sleep he heard Ianto whisper into his ear again.

"You don't need to be in charge all the time, I'm always there for you."


End file.
